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Unblockage February 5, 2006

Posted by boltzmann in Uncategorized.

The House of Steel drain is blocked.

It is supposed to let the waste water from the bathroom sink and bath, as well as the kitchen sink and the washing machine, be washed away into the sewers. As it is, it doesn’t.
As it is, the water bounces off the blocked drain and spills into the sort of alley bit beside the house, where it tries to follow a natural course down to the sea. As it can’t, essentially being walled in by concrete, it just stagnates in an inch-deep pool of stinking sludge. Apparently, the landlord tried to unblock it with a spoon before Christmas, with partial success.

“Right,” thinks me, “I have a plan.” Ba-bada-daaaaaaa!
“I need a pair of pliers, many newspapers, and a wire coathanger.”
“I will first bend the wire coathanger into the shape of a hook with a longish handle, using the pliers. THis will be the unblocking tool. Then, I will use the newspapers as stepping-stones to get across the sludge to the drain, where I will scoop out the blockage and complete the mission.”

I made the hook. I put two carrier bags around each shoe for further protection. I brandished the hook and the newspapers. I looked like a Dyno-Rod warrior. I stepped into the garden.
It was dark but the small amount of light I had fromt he windows was sufficient. I threw the first newspaper onto the sludge and stepped forward. I had begun to smell it. It was foul. It’ a good job the toilet doesn’t discharge into this drain. Of course, if it did, that would be incredibly unsanitary. But this still smelt like some open, Roman sewer.
I reached the drain and poked about in it with the hook. I managed to extract a few strands of hair, but nothing conclusively large. I continued poking around when, suddenly, the drain cover moved. I could remove it!

I removed the drain cover. Nothing happened. The drain was therefore blocked inside the pipe itself. I poked around a bit more and it still remained blocked.
Eventually, I managed to extract a number of blocks of solid, hairy gunk and a few more clumps of sludgy hair. I don’t have long hair but, unfortunately, four of the members of this household do. I accidentally touched the sludge. Argh. My hook was no longer long enough to reach the blockages. I went back inside.

Having fabricated a new hook out of two hangers and lots of tape, I ventured forth once more into the stinking quagmire. ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimbal in the wabe. Luckily the newspaper didn’t gyre or gimbal and I was able to reach the drain again without too much hassle. Filthy. The stench became unbearable.
After another ten minutes of poking around in the drain with the new hook-tool, it became apparent that I was not going to unblock the drain.
Defeated and agonised, I returned to the house, swore a lot at the long-haired members of the house and washed my hands almost seven times with washing up liquid, antibacterial spray and soap. I ought to have used the Cillit Bang. It is time to ask the landlord to sort it out. I am not looking forward to his response when he sees the sludge.



1. Neil - February 5, 2006

Why not just call Dynorod and present the bill to the landlord?

2. boltzmann - February 6, 2006

I could do that, but present the bill to the HoS longhairs instead.

No, on second thoughts, that would create something of a rift within the house.

I don’t really want to crate a rift between us and the landlord either. I’ll call the landlord and try and get him to call Dynorod.

On the other hand, what would my legal standing be, were I to call Dynorod and have them charge the landlord for the job?

3. kate of the yay - February 7, 2006

Check your contract or rental agreement for the property – it should detail if you’re responsible for the cleaning/maintainance of drainage or water disposal. If it doesn’t, try and work something out with the landlord, if you’ve been there a while he will probably want to charge you for it, but if you’ve just moved in, make him pay!

Cleaningy-type shops sell those plughole cover things which catch hair and food and lumps of things and stop them going down the drain – a good investment!

4. Yorkie - February 19, 2006

I can sympathise with this to some extent. I am the house’s shower drain cleaning person. No-one has long hair, but it still gets clogged up. I don’t understand it at all. I tend to attack it with my trusty screwdriver and then pick away using clumps of bogroll.

I can’t see the point of the filter though. If the hair can get through the holes in the floor grid (maybe 100mm^2 max) then why shouldn’t it all be allowed to continue down the pipe (1500mm^2) ??

Furthermore; I would like to put it to the house that this residence does not need a bath if it’s only going to get filled with dust.

5. Dominique - November 30, 2007

wat up bitch`s

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