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It’s crunch time April 25, 2006

Posted by boltzmann in Uncategorized.

Back once again at university for a couple of weeks of revision lectures before the main blast of exams, and I had to recharge my Oyster card with a month’s worth of travel. No problem, thinks me, leaving the house early to allow enough time for the ticket purchase and making my way to the ticket machines.

Problem 1: The ticket office is closed, so all the idiots have to try to use the machines. Incapable of choosing a bloody ticket for themselves, it will prove difficult for them. I pity them. When I’m not standing behind them thinking “how long can this possibly take?” of course.
Problem 2: There is a queue. A group of women in their early thirties (who sounded as though they were Eastern European, although they spoke very good English) were trying to work out how to use the only fully-functional touch-screen machine at the station. None were managing it, so a station assistant came over and assisted them. That took a good 6 or 7 minutes. Well, it eas that long before I gave up and went over to the “Quick Tickets” machine: cash only, Oyster only.
Problem 3: There is a queue at this bloody machine as well. A woman is trying to work out how to use the machine. She eventually succeeds and walks away – but she forgot to touch the Oyster card right at the end to validate it all!! I call after her but she doesn’t hear. A Station Assistant does, though, and brings her back to the machine, guiding her through the whole laborious process again. Eventually, I reach the front of the queue.
Problem 4: The damn machine only issues singles and day travelcards. I want a month’s travel. Why is this machine incapable of providing this service? I go back to the other machine and join the bloody queue, before FINALLY buying my month’s Oyster ticket and running off to the trains.
Problem 5: Naturally, I’m late for the lecture, and I’ve forgotten to do the coursework over the Easter break. Bugger. Nothing I can do about that, though!

Later on, it came to the Crunch. “The Crunch?” I hear you ask, “How dare you speak to me of the Crunch? You know NOTHING of the Crunch! I bet you’ve never seen the Crunch!”

As it happens, I have.

“Oh, so you once went on a day trip to the Crunch. Let’s all visit the Crunch as tourists. Oh look, there’s a bit of Crunch…”

Shut up. I bought a Crunch and ate it and enjoyed it. The milk chocolate version is rubbish and pointless; the white chocolate version is kingly and joyous.



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