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The Good, The Bad and The Crunchy May 3, 2006

Posted by boltzmann in Uncategorized.

Today saw the purchase of 6 mousetraps: the obligatory Big Cheese snap traps, £1.25 for 4, and 2 Big Cheese live capture traps, £3 for 2. Bait for the former comes in the form of a jar of peanut butter, and the latter are prebaited.

The live-capture traps are ingenious. There are no springs or anything. The whole thing works by the mouse tilting the trap when it walks in, which releases the door, which falls shut under gravity and locks. I can’t wait to see if they work… oh, think of the fun that could be had with the mice

Yesterday I went on an absolute BINGE, as far as biscuit-buying is concerned, purchasing a total of 4 packets of biscuits, which I will here review and assign a Crunch Rating of between 1 and 5 Crunch Points, where 1 is “You know NOTHING of the Crunch!” and 5 is “You are a master of the Crunch”.

Pink Panther Wafers – Crunch Rating 3.
These awesome biscuits are cheaper by mass than the Sainsbury’s own brand, and actually come with a picture of the Pink Panther on the packet, which clearly makes them superior biscuits. They are well-versed in the ways of the Crunch but it is difficult to stop eating them once you have started – leaving you feeling quite ill quite quickly!
Oreo (Chocolate, 4 “snack packs” – similar to the packs of Ariel washing powder tablets, or printer ink cartridges). Crunch Rating 1.

How DARE these biscuits speak to me of the Crunch?! Overhyped, over-dark, under-sized, under-tasty American “cookie” nonsense. Wholly insubstantial. I’d even go so far as to say “crap”. Buy Bourbons like the traditionalist you are. Don’t waste your time. Rubbish. Avoid.
Fox’s Butter Crunch Crinkles. Crunch Rating 4.
These biscuits are excellent. Used to be called Crinkle Crunch. Golden, light, dunkable, sweet, crunchy, lovely. Perfect to enjoy on your day-trip around the Crunch.
Hob Nobs. Crunch rating: 5.
Legendary biscuit of courage and might. The King of Biscuits. Enough said.

I also bought some mandarins, having had satsumas the previous week. While the mandarins are tangier and tastier than the satsumas, they are also MUCH more difficult to peel and had loads of seeds. Also, the satsumas tasted more of those mandarin pieces that come in tins than the mandarins themselves did. Disappointment city.

Finally: the smell of Savlon is really nice!



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